Saturday, March 20, 2010

"we were meant to live for so much more. have we lost ourselves? somewhere we live inside."

"God, I want to believe in fate so badly. I want the comfort of believing that there is some divine plan and purpose that will lead us all to where we are meant to be. But I just can't. Few things in my life have felt like they were 'meant to be.' And there have been so many things that I was certain were 'meant to be' that just weren't. Things just feel like they 'are' to me now. I guess that childhood luster to the world has been lost, and it is tragic. What is more apparent on the surface is that I am part of a larger, unthinking/unfeeling system of math, physics, connection, & society, and this is something that I can comprehend and makes sense to me. Any greater divine serendipity has not shown itself to be ubiqutous or apparent.

But I'm always wanting and looking for something to change my opinion."

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