Tuesday, November 24, 2009

"but you are the one, i've been waiting for today. and here comes the sun that's been baiting on today."

I saw every person in this picture. :)

Today I realized that when someone asks you how you are liking college you automatically say, "I love it." It doesn't really occur to you if you actually do love it or not, but it's just protocol to say it's the best thing that's happened since sliced bread. Unfortunately after saying those three words, you get shot down by someone saying, "No, you don't." The reality of those words are harder to process. The instant rebuttal occurs where I think, well, I do love living on my own in the city of Boston, but that's not really college. The classes are tough, the people all party and/or smoke, and rowing has consumed any and all possible sleep time. So do I love it? Who knows. Bits and pieces of my day are what keep me coming back. And I can not not go back. The past has moved on as well. Things will never be the same, though I shouldn't always need them to be. So much possibility lies ahead of me, so I shouldn't waste away my "college experience." The biggest goal in life is find a balance between everything and to be happy. My balance is way off and I don't know what makes me happy. I don't know what I want to study anymore. If I can't handle a freshman biology class how am I going to do premed? It's just frustrating, and I'm tired of being frustrated.


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